If you have a close relative or friend who has terminal cancer visiting them can be a trial. It is nothing compared to what they are going through of course but we find it a confronting experience. It is important to think about why we go. We like to think it is to provide support but new evidence suggests that we may inadvertently doing the exact reverse.

Home grown wisdom points to the importance of the patient maintaining a positive attitude. We seem to have accepted the concept that it will improve the quality of what life they have left. The more extreme even suggest that it can prolong life.

New research by Penelope Schofield, a research fellow at the Peter MacCallum Cancer Centre in Melbourne suggests that this is complete fiction. Not only do people maintaining a positive attitude not live any longer than those who didn't but the expectation that they maintain a positive attitude places an additional, unnecessary burden upon them.

We have to ask ourselves whether we are expecting terminally ill patients to maintain a positive attitude for their benefit or for ours. It is much more comfortable to go and visit if the person is happy and optimistic. Some time you may be in the position of having to provide support to a friend or relative that finds themselves in this unfortunate situation. Try providing quality support by not placing the burden of your expectations and your comfort upon them, they have enough to bear already.

Read more here.