Are you one of those kinds of people who feel you should read the book before seeing the film, I know I am. The trouble is some of them are so long. What is it with all those words?
Well look no further, Book In A Minute has done all that reading for you and created the ultimate precis of many all time favourites.
To all of you who are over 17 and have not read Lord of the Rings I say, "What are you doing with your life. Get your priorities correct please"
Never the less continue reading to see Book In A Minute's take on one of the greatest epic tales of the modern era.
(via J-Walk)
The Fellowship Of The Ring
Gandalf
Bilbo Baggins, your Ring is evil. In a couple decades, we'll try to destroy it. In the meantime, leave it for Frodo to play with.
Bilbo Baggins
It's not evil. It's mine. My precious. Mine! MINE, I TELL YOU!! MOOHOOHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!
(Frodo takes it to RIVENDELL. Some FRIENDS come with him. They are attacked by black riders a LOT, and it is SCARY.)
Elrond
Frodo Baggins, if Sauron ever gets this Ring, the world will be destroyed, and evil will reign forever. We must act quickly. Take the Ring to where he lives.
(They do some travelling. Some more FRIENDS come with him. Gandalf DIES in the mines of Moria, but will later be RESURRECTED in GLORIFIED form having triumphed over EVIL, an obvious literary ALLUSION to that movie where the guy comes back as a DOG.)
Boromir
Frodo Baggins, give me the Ring.
Frodo
No.
Boromir
What have I done? (dies)
THE END
The Two Towers
(Gandalf frees THEODEN and overthrows SARUMAN. A bunch of IRRELEVANT stuff happens. Then the PLOT starts up again.)
THE END
The Return Of The King
Aragorn
We must travel the Paths of the Dead.
Eowyn
You'll die.
(They don't.)
Gandalf
The Hordes of Mordor will destroy Minis Tirith.
(They don't.)
Gandalf
We must attack Mordor. We'll all be killed.
(They aren't.)
Gollum
Mmmm, yummy finger! (dies)
Frodo
The Ring has been destroyed, but now we will die in Mordor.
Sam
Buck up, Master Frodo.
(A bunch of feathered DEUS EX MACHINAS come out of NOWHERE and save EVERYBODY.)
THE END
There are many jewels hidden amongst the leaves in this forgotten part of the ancient forest. Spend some time browsing and you are sure to find some. Click here or continue your search below
or read the most recent entries here.Yay, now I can say that I have read Lord of the Rings. Frankly, I don't see what all the fuss is about.
Posted by: dan at July 11, 2003 08:29 AM
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